Thursday, October 24, 2013

Undefeatable




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Cynthia Rothrock in Undefeatable (1994) aka "Cui hua kuang mo"
Another epic piece of art from director Godfrey Ho, the man who has directed about 100 films with the word Ninja in the title! This doesn't have ninja in the title but don't be fooled there is plenty of martial arts action. Like his other films this is a shockingly cheap and hilariously bad movie. The acting is especially poor. Leading the movie is the queen of martial arts, her hotness; Cynthia Rothrock (kill me now Cynthia!!). Cynthia does her usual ass kicking routine as she stars as a waitress who also fights illegallyfor money on the side. When her sister is killed she vows revenge. Rothrock can't really act worth a hill a beans really and she proves that when identifying her sisters body. She looks at the corpse and just as I thought they would have her do the typical action star scowl, clenching of the fist, before running out the building to do damage, she burst into tears. Now you may think "Wow, stretching!" However it is scary. She is so over the top and loud that I was actually frightened (frightened but still being aroused by her presence). Having said that Rothrock is not the worst actor in this picture, in fact she is the best which gives you some indication at the level this film is made. It is like a Troma film without all the gore and female nudity, even though there is a little gore, and a little female nudity (not Rothrock lads!). While Cynthia had her little "where's my academy award?" moments, bad guy Don Niam was atrocious. Niam, sporting the worst, most permed mullet ever seen is so ridiculously cheesy that he merely has to appear on screen for me to laugh manically at him. When he speaks he is even funnier. His face has a kind of "please hit me!" look to it and the way his mullet sways about is very amusing. My brother put it best about ¾ of the way through when he said "I swear that mullet gets bigger in every scene!" I thought that too. There are a few mullets in the film and some fashion that makes this film look very 80's, however it was made in the mid 90's! 

Once again, like Ho's other epics, this has some good fights. Particularly a superbly rough fight between Don Niam and John Miller that ends hilariously (it involves a hook and an eye socket but you'll really have to see it.). What I love is the whole cheesiness of B-movies like this. They take it a step beyond your average DTV film and as such something this cheesy is far more entertaining than something plain bad and boring, staring Steven Seagal. To sum up how cheesy and stupid this film is: In the middle of the climactic fight scene between Niam and Miller, they both tear their shirts off (for no good reason) and continue the fight bare chested, yet miraculously they are oiled up to the eye balls. It is an hilariously macho scene that comes across as more homo-erotic, with oily men grabbing and hitting each other, it couldn't have been gayer if they'd have recreated Olly Reed and Alan Bates nude wrestling match. I think there is something Godfrey isn't telling us!

So with ample fist fights and plenty of bad acting, this film has good entertainment values, as well as some excellent fight scenes. Unfortunately no Scorpion kick from Rothrock in this.

Full Movie on YouTube

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